Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad,( Unless You're Number Three)


by Chastity Irreverance IV


I'm Chastity and am therefore reporting on Romance from a position of innate superiority.  Or some position like that.  A little lower, Boris.

 

We go from sad to sublime this month, with the best definitely for last.  However, this month has been no ordinary one, no indeed, sweetlings: we had not one, but two proposals of marriage!

 To lead off, Adhemar, Duke Murena, wined and dined his lady friend Babette at the Heighliner in the first week of the month.  Babette, honey, what were you thinking?  This is a Duke, for crying out loud!  And she may be, because Babette declined, and the Duke is rumoured not to be a particularly forgiving kind of man.  Certainly his expression was, to put it mildly, stormy.

Viscount Suvideo Qingli Su wasn't there to see it.  Although he did join the Heighliner, he was off to the Palace at the start of the month, having bidden a supportive and fond farewell to his erstwhile superior, Count Inzabox, who has returned to Geidi Prime to manage his extensive estates and take up provincial duties.  Well!  The Count's last kiss had barely cooled upon Wensica's lovely cheek before Viscount Su was inviting her to turn it in his direction.  My sources say that the Viscount had planned out this visit like a military operation, apparently with the connivance of his concubine and even informing his current and soon-to-be-former mistress!  Wensica is well-versed in politics, but even she must have found this just a mite cold.  Nonetheless, either she was swept off her feet by the dashing suitor, or she admires his non-military manoeuvres, or maybe the concubine just talked dirty in her ear, because she took him.  Personally, I think she has a thing for Harkonnens.

In the second week of the month, Pandora D'Martfort Ordos paid a call to Renata of the Atreides, suggesting an alliance of convenience, concomitance and concupiscence.  She must have fallen for the alliteration, because the two were said to be concupiscing for days after.  Besides, with the way House Ordos runs things, this relative newcomer and unknown may actually be running the home planet. Big wheels within little wheels.

 But now: the good stuff!  Grab your tissue boxes, because we come to the other proposal of the month and it was a doozie.  Baron, Ginaz Swordmaster and Aide to the Crown Prince, Douglas Minnesota of House Atreides squired his inseparable companion (except when he's slogging sand on Arrakis), and fellow Ginaz Swordmistress, Paola Ginaz, to the Imperial Court in the last week.  Lots of interesting people were trying, as always, to get the Padishah Emperor's attention, but Douglas the Divine outdid them all, by going down on one knee before Paola just as His Sublimity was heading over in their direction.  Well, what's a girl going to do, scrape her boot on the poor guy while the whole court is watching?  This isn't Geidi Prime...  And so, as everyone applauded, Paola Ginaz made Minnesota the happiest man around, both by not killing him for putting her on the spot, and by saying "yes"!  As for the Emperor's reaction, well, you've heard the phrase "noticed at court"?  And then some! 

Congratulations to the happy couple, and I'm all ears to hear when the date will be.